Looking out for loneliness – #HaveAChat


An older women looks upset, looking out the window

During the Covid-19 pandemic lockdown, more people experienced loneliness than ever before.1,2 For many across the UK and Ireland, lockdown may have been their first experience of isolation and loneliness.

But for millions of people, even before lockdown, loneliness was an everyday reality.

Biopharmaceutical company Bristol Myers Squibb and the Campaign to End Loneliness have joined forces to address loneliness as a major public health issue in the UK, and to show how we can all benefit from something as small and simple as a quick chat.

The thought of having a chat with someone new may be daunting, but it can result in a positive change to your mood. And that goes for everyone involved. People often underestimate how much the person they are talking with is enjoying their company, and the benefits can go both ways. 3

How to look out for loneliness

Loneliness can be difficult to spot for many reasons:

  • It can look and feel different for everybody, as feelings of loneliness are personal and subjective4
  • Technology and social media can make it easy to hide emotions, limit social interactions and avoid real and meaningful conversations5
  • People who are experiencing loneliness often don’t want to admit how they are feeling. This can be a daunting experience, and pride and independence are important for a lot of us, so asking for help can be even harder4

Human connection and friendship are part of what makes us human. And we all need people in our lives who care for us and who we connect with.

People who live alone, people who are bereaved and have lost a life partner, and people who’ve moved to a new area on their own are all more likely to experience loneliness.

But we should never assume that people are lonely. Many people are perfectly happy living alone and feel they don’t want or need company. And that’s another reason why loneliness can be hard to spot.

We can all play a part in helping to tackle loneliness in the UK. If you are worried that a friend, family member or colleague might be experiencing loneliness, here are some signs to look out for:

Spending time alone

People experiencing loneliness are more likely to withdraw from social situations and less likely to look to others for social support which may make them feel more isolated.6

Frequent illness or increased tiredness

Loneliness can contribute to many physical and mental health conditions, including cardiovascular problems, lowered immunity, cognitive decline among others.7 Additionally on a day-to-day basis, people experiencing loneliness may feel more tired and they are more likely to struggle to get a good night’s sleep.6,7

Being less productive

There is evidence that loneliness can impact performance, productivity and resilience at work.8

Talking about loneliness

Loneliness still carries a lot of stigma, and many people might be reluctant to admit that they’re feeling lonely. Asking people directly if they’re feeling lonely can often be triggering for people and they might get defensive.

If you’re worried a friend, neighbour or family member is experiencing loneliness, you could ask if they’ve been in touch with any friends or family of late, or if they feel like they have a friend they can talk to.

What’s often best is to simply take the time to talk to them. If they are feeling lonely, over time, they might be able to have a frank and honest conversation about it. But the best place to start is to be there for them.

Take the time to check in on the phone or using social media and ask how they are and what they’re looking forward to. Loneliness is a tough thing to go through, but by being there for people you can let them know they’re not alone.

Remind them that loneliness is a perfectly normal and common feeling. During the Coronavirus outbreak more people than ever before have reported feelings of loneliness.

Getting help

If a friend or family member is struggling with persistent feelings of loneliness, it’s always a good idea for them to speak to their GP, who will be able to provide support and advice, as well as recommend any programmes or services in the local area.

You can also recommend they call the charity Mind’s info line, who will be able to provide links and resources for where they might be able to get further help and support. It’s Freephone 0300 123 3393.

Making those connections may be more difficult due to Covid-19. Please follow all social distancing guidelines and keep the recommended distance from people

This campaign has been co-created by Bristol Myers Squibb and the Campaign to End Loneliness and is funded by Bristol Myers Squibb

NOUK2001000-02; November 2020

You can also read this guide as a PDF.

References

  1. Office for National Statistics. Coronavirus and loneliness, Great Britain: 3 April to 3 May 2020. Available from: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/bulletins/coronavirusandlonelinessgreatbritain/3aprilto3may2020 Last accessed: October 2020.
  2. Central Statistics Office. Social Impact of COVID-19 Survey April 2020. Available from: https://www.cso.ie/en/releasesandpublications/ep/p-sic19/socialimpactofcovid-19surveyapril2020/introductionandsummaryofresults/ Last accessed: October 2020.
  3. Boothby EJ., Cooney G, Sandstrom GM., et al. Psychological Science. 29(11): 1742-1756.
  4. Hall K. (2013). Accepting Loneliness. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/pieces-mind/201301/accepting-loneliness. Last Accessed October 2020.
  5. Stop Hiding Behind Social Media. Available at: https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/stop-hidingbehind-social-media Last accessed October 2020.
  6. Griffin J. 2010. The Lonely Society: The Mental Health Foundation. Available at: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/sites/default/files/the_lonely_society_report.pdf. Last Accessed October 2020;
  7. Kurina, LM et al (2011). Sleep, 34(11):1519–1526.
  8. Ozcelik H & Barsade SG (2018). Acad Management J. 61(6) [ePub].